Fit for a Ginger King: Hamburger Heaven

I was on my own for the night as my mother was out eating dinner and drinking Appletinis with her school friends. Thankfully, and like a good mother, she had taken a pound of ground chuck out of the freezer for me to let my culinary imagination run wild. I only considered cooking one thing once I saw the savory lean beef resting on the countertop. I am a carnivore and patriotic American at heart and nothing excites me more than a properly prepared and cooked hamburger.

First, I popped the pre-shaped burger in the microwave for approximately 2 minutes to complete the defrosting process. My appetite precluded waiting any more time to let the chunk completely thaw. I then placed the meat on a plate and covered it with Worcestershire sauce. Upon perusing my mother's cabinets for side dish options, I came across a bag of small red potatoes and, in the same drawer, three large heads of garlic. I thought to myself, now Jim, what can I possibly cook with these two ingredients? Hmmmm...... I harkened back to a weekend many months ago, when a good French friend of mine let me in on a family secret. I decided to heed his wise word.

I peeled five to ten cloves of garlic and washed about fifteen of the red potatoes,

and placed everything in a large pot of water, along with a dash or two of salt. (Special note: To achieve a more subtle, enveloping taste of garlic, do not crush or otherwise disturb the integrity of the cloves.) After boiling for about ten minutes, until the potatoes were good and soft, I drained the pot of all excess water. To the cooked potatoes and cloves I added a half stick of butter and milk (exact amounts can vary) and mashed until correct consistency was reached. Hand mashing is the only method of preparing this dish properly. Please take a close look at the picture of my mother's hand masher - it is an extremely efficient cooking tool that makes this task easy. Finally, I cracked a liberal amount of fresh black pepper over the potatoes, finishing the first side dish.

At this juncture, you may be asking yourself, why, Jim, why? Why did you leave the skin on the potatoes? Well, skin-on mashed potatoes, in my humble opinion, are the best of the breed. The skin of a potato, while consisting mostly of dead, vitamin-less cells, inhibits Vitamin C, the main vitamin in a potato, from "boiling off" during the cooking process. And aside from the health benefits, potato skin just tastes damn good. With only one side dish left to go and my anticipation peaking, I meandered out back and fired up the trusty Vermont Castings propane grill.

Back in the kitchen, I decided to make this a truly epic night by assembling the salad of all salads. Here is a list of essential ingredients. I really cannot imagine someone passing a salad off as great without all of the following:

1. Vine-ripe tomatoes
2. Diced Red Onion
3. Goat Cheese (any fine cheese will do here)
4. Romaine/Red Leaf Lettuce

This may sound simple and uncomplicated, but these are the building blocks upon which salad greatness is built. A future post will address more complex techniques/variations of assembling the perfect salad. Dressed with balsamic vinegar, olive oil, and some lemon juice, this one fits the bill. Now, the burger alone awaits my attention.

I prepared a three-cheese topping (goat, extra-sharp cheddar, and Swiss) for subsequent melting. The grill now sufficiently hot, I moved the dripping hamburger from plate to searing metal, allotting three to four minutes of grill time for each side. What I did not do is flip the burger constantly for 10 minutes and allow all taste and moisture to drip away. This is a colossal mistake that many an amateur grillmaster make. With completion in sight, I crowned the burger with the three-cheese topping and placed the buns on the upper rack for slight browning. After all, a meal fit for a king is not complete without a cheesy crown.

Some insightful individuals may take issue with the final preparation of my burger. Smith family members, in particular, see a burger without sauteed mushrooms and onions as an angel without wings. I'd have to agree with them. In this instance, however, I acted in a hasty manner, downing the entire plate (shown below) in under five minutes.